Thursday, October 11, 2012

Interested In

Today, I went on facebook and changed something. Nobody else would have noticed, but the little difference is huge to me.
I clicked on Update Info on my timeline. 
Basic Info. 

I was not changing my birthday, my gender, or my religious views (open-minded), and I hadn't learned another language. I was changing a little something called Interested In.

I actually never had anything there before, I guess, because I wasn't sure what to put in the first place. But now I knew exactly what to do.

I took my mouse to each box and checked them both: Women. and Men. and I stared at if for a minute feeling happy, because I knew that it had to be right. And finally, I changed the privacy setting to "Only Me". After all... lol... in the closet and all.
A little shiver went up my spine when I clicked save. Damn, this is exciting! Now, when I look at my own profile, this is what I see -
It's a little scary every time I realize it's there, but then I remind myself that only I can see it. I look forward to the day when I can change the privacy setting so all my friends can see it, and I won't be afraid. Maybe, just maybe, some day in the far future, my timeline might even include one of these -
You never know :)

Selvi <3


  1. you will be there one day when you are ready. It is never easy at the beginning but as more you get in touch with who you are and as more you accept yourself as braver you get.

  2. Hey, can I bother you for advice?

    I really, really want to ask out a girl who's still in the closet. She's out privately to just a few people, but I know she's not ready to come out publicly for a long time, and I don't care, and even though I'm out, I would NEVER pressure her to come out whether or not we were dating. We're already good friends and spend tons of time together, so it's not a problem that she could be accidentally outed if people notice we're hanging out. I really am willing to do whatever it takes, and I have thought a LOT about all the ways it would be hard not to be a couple in public, but as you can probably tell, this girl is more than worth it to me.

    How can I approach the subject without scaring her? If you were her, and for the sake of argument let's say you reciprocated my feelings, what would you do?

    Thank you SO MUCH for reading and, hopefully, answering!

    1. Hi there! Thanks for stopping by. I’m so glad you’ve found a girl you care about this much.

      With a closeted girl, her main fear is that she’ll have to come out, so it’s important that she knows you don’t expect anything of her that she can’t give. If she’s come out to you, it means she trusts you enough to let you know her real self and it means she’s comfortable with her feelings… she just doesn’t want to go singing them to the world. What matters is that if you love her and would do anything for her, then you shouldn’t let your fears stop you. And if she reciprocates your feelings and she feels ready for a relationship, there’s nothing to stop her either. Every relationship has inhibitions and every person in a relationship has needs. You two just have to find your own balance, and from what I can see, you already have the trust and friendship it takes to build a strong relationship.

      As for approaching the subject, I’m definitely no expert, but I would say speak with your actions, move slowly, and read the signs. But say something with your words, too. If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s to not underestimate verbal communication. If you tell her exactly what you told me, that you would do whatever it takes, that you would never pressure her to come out, that she’s worth it, then she has nothing to be afraid of and it will put her mind at ease.

      Ultimately, you know her better than anyone else! All the advice in the world doesn't matter as much as how YOU feel. Trust your own judgment, and don’t give in to doubt. You seem like a great person and I hope that helped.
      May the odds be ever in your favor!! ;)