Who I Am: Introducing Closeted Bisexual Tamil Girl

Greetings from the closet! I’m Selvi, a queer teenage Tamil girl living in the USA. I’m here to give a personal account of my experiences and share my thoughts and feelings. I am a lot of different things and proud of my identity, but mostly I’m just human and trying to figure life out.

LGBTQIA

LGBTQIA stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, Intersex, Allies, etc.

Those of us who fall under the spectrum of Gender and Sexual Minority are coming more to the spotlight. Same-sex marriage is now a hot-button issue. We have haters and supporters and everything in between. That’s why it’s our job to make ourselves more and more visible, to make sure we can’t be ignored or overlooked. Love is love unconditionally, whether it’s how you love other people (sexuality) or how you love yourself (gender identity). I’m here to promote love. Let’s show the world why they should love us too!

Tamil/Indian

I’m putting these two together because they’re cultural aspects. (If you don’t know, Tamil is a language spoken in parts of Asia, also a cultural identity. Tamil Nadu is a Tamil-speaking state in India)

I am passionate about my culture. I speak, read, and write Tamil, go to Tamil Sangams, India association, NSF, FeTNA conventions, etc and so on. It is pretty awesome being part of the Tamil and Indian communities. But the thing is, we are extremely traditional. Indian society in general tends to resist social change. Do you know how many Indian LGBT there in social media? Not a lot. And Tamil LGBT? They’re practically nonexistent! I know there are more of us out there.

Indian LGBT have to deal with the fact that the LGBT movement is very western. All the music, films, pride and support groups are English/Caucasian-based. As Indians/Tamils, It is HARD to reconcile our culture with our sexual orientation. So we need to be there for each other and build some communities of our own.

A Girl

It’s a fact - gay guys get more attention than lesbians and there are way more resources for bisexual guys than biseuxal girls. Thanks to popular male-dominated media, lesbian and bi women have been fetishized and objectified, and this leads to downright disrespect for the validity of our identities. As a strong feminist, I object to society's definition of me. Respect has to start within, and hopefully people will see that and start to give us the respect we deserve.

Teenage

Being young and different can be scary. The suicide rate in teenage LGBT is high. Most of us still live with our parents, and maybe (like mine), they're homophobic. Since our experiences are different than adults, our opinions matter too. We’re still growing and developing, and most of us haven’t fallen in love yet... Some of us still need to fall in love with ourselves.

Still in the closet

There is always this pressure on LGBT people to "come out". But really, I am fine where I am. I'm not looking for a relationship at the time and don’t plan to until college. Being in the closet doesn’t mean that I’m ashamed. I am comfortable with who I am. I’m just under complex circumstances and don’t really feel the need to come out yet. Simple as that. This blog is my way to put my thoughts and support out there without putting myself out there just yet.

So there you have it. This is who I am. These are the things I’ll be writing about. If any of that struck a chord with you, we need to talk. I want to hear what you think! Comment, email, let me know.

All my love,

Selvi <3

selvi.malar.bi@gmail.com